OUR LOVE STORY
Lena & Conrad are proud to be one of only eight couples in Europe who have created a genuine relationship using a dating app. After a few weeks of trotting out their best flirty banter, it became clear to them both that the other one was, astonishingly, not some weird hapless freak and they made arrangements to meet in person on the 6th of January 2023.
That evening they learned, to their mutual massive relief, that the profile pictures that had first attracted them, were not shameless, AI-enhanced lies - as had been the case in numerous previous encounters. Lena was indeed a beautiful Ukrainian woman with an exquisite derrière, and Conrad (who had neglected to upload a full body shot) actually had legs. Scarcely able to believe their luck, that date led to hundreds more and three months later, Conrad was nearly bankrupt, but also absolutely, insanely in love. When he mentioned this to Lena on a romantic weekend retreat, she concurred without being prompted.
At this point, Conrad’s long-held belief in the unnecessary nature of marriage (an opinion encouraged by those aforementioned previous encounters) crumbled entirely. He proposed to Lena at sunset on a beach in Spain, because when it comes to proposals, it turns out that he’s an absolute gangsta. Lena made a high-pitched noise, which he took for a ‘yes’.
This website, and indeed this very paragraph, followed as a direct result of that moment. Lena & Conrad are crazy about each other, and crazy about you. Hence why you got an invite. If the wedding is to your liking, we’d very much appreciate you joining us on this ride for the rest of our lives, because this is for keeps and we love you. X
As you will soon discover, Prague, like Helen Mirren, is very old and very beautiful. Some of the bridges over its picturesque river were built by the dinosaurs. That being said, it does have a superb and highly reliable public transport system as well as a fleet of very reasonable taxis. Here’s the inside track on getting about in the city Julius Caesar called ‘THE best party town in the Roman Empire, bar none.’
Taxis and Trams
For taxis, download the ‘Bolt’ app. Uber exists, but it is RUBBISH. Seriously, use Bolt. Bolt will quote you a price before you ride, so you won’t be ripped off. Almost all of you will be taking a taxi to our venue, which, if you’re staying in the center of town, shouldn’t cost more than a tenner. Bargain, eh?
Trams are cheap, extremely plentiful and fun to ride, but you MUST buy a ticket as soon as you board (all trams have ticket machines inside accepting credit or debit cards) or download an app called ‘PID Lítačka’ and you can buy with your phone. The trams employ plain-clothed ticket checkers, so you MUST keep your ticket safe, otherwise they get very stroppy and will proceed to mug you for about sixty quid.
Hotels and Airbnb
Prague has numbered postcode districts. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 etc. They’re sort of consecutive, but not really, so don’t try and navigate by them. Lena & Conrad live right on the river in a place called Andel. That’s in Prague 5. You could also stay in Prague 1 or 2 and you’ll be close by. Book a place in Prague 18 and you might as well be in Austria. So, you know, don’t do that.
Hotels are available for all budgets from P-Diddy to Pea Soup. But we recommend Airbnb. Prague’s loss by way of community cohesion and rent control is your gain. You’ll get something much bigger and nicer for much less dosh. Again, search for Prague 5, Prague 1 or Prague 2. If in doubt, contact us. We’ll send you our exact address via email.
The Airport
Prague airport is small and simple, like Tom Cruise. When you get outside, USE your Bolt app. Your ride will be there in mere minutes and will cost a third of what those posh black ones lurking outside Arrivals would charge. Ignore them, proceed to the parking area. Then call a Bolt. Trust me.
Money
You can use your card practically everywhere. The currency is the Czech Koruna (crown) and there are about 29-30 of them to the pound, or for the Ukrainians 100 Koruna is basically 200 Hyrvnia. Tips are not expected, but will be accepted either with a grumpy snort or a smile that doesn’t reach your waiter’s eyes.
Culture
Czechs are experts in brewing, so do try some of their beer, it’s excellent (we HIGHLY recommend the Brevnov Monastery in Prague 6, which brews its own in stunning surroundings). Also, we’re happy to note that Prague is very safe. It makes London feel like Kabul or Lagos by comparison. You will notice that all the cops look painfully bored.
‘Cocktail attire’ covers it best, we think. Suits or dress shirts for the guys. Ladies, a cocktail dress or dressy separates in muted colours will be perfect. Please avoid bright colours and of course, white dresses. Also, it’s autumn, so a jacket might come in handy.
If you would like to give us a gift, in addition to joining us on the day, then you’re obviously an absolute sweetheart. Completely up to you what form that takes of course, but if you’d like to help in resuscitating our battered bank balance so that we can have a honeymoon, please scan the QR code below with your phone:
Anything Else?
It’s common to bring flowers to weddings. A beautiful gesture, but flowers die and we are far more concerned with supporting brave Ukrainians in their continued fight against russian terrorism. So, if you wish to donate, we would like to direct you towards our preferred charitable cause who not only provide defense equipment, but also protect children and animals affected by the war:
